Is there such a thing as a "perfect" parent?

Many people believe in the myth of the perfect parents – the ideal mother and father who raise happy, well-adjusted problem-free children. But, in truth, there is no such person as a perfect parent or child.

Problem behavior is common among school-age children and takes up a significant portion of a parent’s time. At any one time, on average, school-age children have about five or six traits or behaviors that their parents find challenging. These might include not complying with simple requests, avoiding chores, spending too much time watching TV or playing videos, engaging in sibling rivalry, or needing help completing homework.

Mistakes are OK

As a parent, you need to recognize that it is normal to feel worried, confused, angry, guilty, overwhelmed, and inadequate because of your child’s behavior. That is part of being a parent. It is futile and self-defeating to try to be perfect or to raise perfect children.

All parents and all children make mistakes in their attempts to communicate and deal with one another and in trying to solve problems. Parents need to trust themselves and their instincts. Mothers and fathers tend to have good intuition and knowledge of their children.

Flexible Parenting

However, parents who “live for their children” are putting themselves in a vulnerable position, setting themselves up for possible disappointment, frustration, and resentment. They are also being unfair to their family. Parents should expect only some fulfillment from their children or the parenting role. Parents need other activities to fulfill their self-images and other sources of love and nurturing. They need time to be adults and for themselves – and a break from children and parenting responsibilities.